So here’s a totally real page of my life that if I were an actual book, as a sort of prank, the publisher of my book seemingly photocopied this single page about 1 million times and stuck those identical pages randomly between all the other pages inside my story’s front and back covers. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times this scenario has occurred, reoccurred and still occurs in my lifetime…
As if I was some sort of Star Wars priest, everyone, EVERYONE I meet that knows/finds out how much I like the Star Wars movies and Star Wars in general, confesses to me with the very same guilt-laden statement…
You’re probably going to hate me because of this… but I’ve never seen any of the Star Wars movies.
This is my personal Groundhog Day and I’m Bill Murray (if only). The amount of times I have lived this exact scenario truly makes me wonder if we’re really plugged into the Matrix and something is wrong with the machinery I’m hooked up to. Every single time I’m in a social situation and someone uncovers the grand discovery of my Star Wars fandom (which is grand), it’s as though the glitch occurs, the world melts away and we’re alone, face -to-face in a confessional. Without fail, the Star Wars movies admission of guilt follows shortly thereafter.
I’m here to put a stop to it. The episodic rerun, deja vu, glitch in the Matrix caused by people who haven’t seen any of the Star Wars movies, must come to an end. Leave it to some creative video editors with a little YouTube/social media savvy to give me all the tools to save my ever collapsing sanity. For all of you Star Wars movies non-see-ers, just do me this huge life-altering favor. Watch this video and relieve us both from ever having to endure the, “I’ve never seen any of the Star Wars movies” verbal exchange.
All 6 Star Wars Movies Simultaniously
The last thing I want to address is this… Do people really think I wouldn’t like them solely because they haven’t seen any of the Star Wars movies? I don’t know who that reflects worse on? Me because they think I’m so super shallow that not seeing Star Wars would justify to me writing off their entire personality and existence, or them for being so insecure with themselves that they think by revealing to me they’ve not seen any of the Star Wars movies would be a total deal breaker?
Both are straight up, 100% crazy… but you should probably just see the movies because it’s quite literally the most popular thing on Earth, maybe falling a very close 2nd to just being alive. Plus there’s a new one coming in December.
By: Eli Rebich